Monday, July 19, 2010

At A Low Point

(This isn't an emo blogpost. Please. I just need an outlet to express myself right now.)
I'm just really tired right now. Not just physically tired, but also mentally and emotionally tired. I'm sooooo tired to the point that I want something bad to happen to me just so I could have a good excuse to spend time in a hospital or at home and just rest and think about everything. These past days, I've woken up with a heavy heart, anxious and not at all ready to face what the day has in store for me. I feel ready to burst at all these bottled up emotions because I can't share them with anybody -not with my parents nor to my sister (although she's the closest person in the world to me). I miss being bored and carefree soooo much that I am tempted to give up all the responsibilities I've taken.
Although I put up this happy and cheerful facade, deep inside I feel heavy and I'm cursing everything that's wrong with me and the world. Yep, I'm pretty sure the causes for all these are not just personal, but they definitely exist outside of me as well.
I don't really know what to do now. I wanna break and punch stuff, but I'm sure the release will just be temporary. God, I really wanna get through this right now because I'm gonna crash and burn pretty soon if I don't.

Shit, I really wanna curse somebody right now. *sigh*